confessions of a fandom addict
So. If I had had to choose, pre-A Very Supernatural Christmas, which Winchesters was likely to be Grinch-like, I'd have picked Dean. Christmas, for all that I hate it, is such a "normal" family holiday that I expected Sam would buy into it in his search for normal, while Dean would be all yeah, whatever, Santa's as real as angels, man.

Having said that... every step of the the reveal for Sam's negativity was beautifully done. I loved how Dean was willing, even then, to break any rule to make Sam happy. That he was trying to protect Sam from the harsh reality of their life. That his hero-worship was evident, and that we saw the beginning of Sam's disillusionment with John, and that his loyalty clearly, clearly shifted to Dean in that moment.

There were moments in this episode that made me want to cry. I mean, first off, wee!chesters!!! And, whoever did the casting for young!Sam? WINS. AT. EVERYTHING.

The sad little tree, and gifts, and then the amulet? When why_me_why_not asked if I was watching, all I could say was that they were BREAKING MY HEART.

And how much do I love that Sam gave Dean a gift for the Impala? Dean's gift to Sam clearly means that he thinks Sam should have more sex, and that he prefers him clean-shaven when they do so.

And that the writers could have made Sam say Those Words to Dean, but they didn't. Because sometimes words don't mean anything in comparison to gestures or even a simple look.


Ahem. OK. Done squeeing for the moment.



So, now I'm going to diverge from the warm fuzzy brother-moment to another type of brother moment.





This is completely disorganized, and I'm still working through my thoughts on the matter.

So, we all know that same-sex siblingcest is totally not a squick for me, right?

I mean, look at all the Fred/George, James/Oliver, and Dean/Sam stuff I read/write/love.

I'm at a loss to understand why Waycest leaves me cold. Two brothers, pretty hot (well, mainly I think Mikey's hot; Gerard is kinda cute in a geeky and dorky way, except for that photo-shoot, the one with the vest and tie, which resulted in photos that do things to me that are possibly illegal in some states), with few personal boundaries in terms of stage displays. And if we're talking about RPF, it's all about the constructs, the personas we create from the bits and pieces of public knowledge, right? So in theory that should leave me open to Waycest. But... it just doesn't work for me.

I'm trying to figure out why, and in that effort, I've resorted to thinking about what brought me to the 'cest to begin with. For "real" fiction, I'd only read a handful in which incest was a topic, or even addressed. Most of us here have read the Flowers In The Attic series, right? I never searched it out; it was a Thing, and as long as people are consenting adults, not a big deal.

Then I stumbled on Fred/George in HP fandom, and it seemed perfectly fine, hot, beautiful. Here were two boys who weren't the same mind in one body (which, OK, as an identical twin, that interpretation irritates me like you wouldn't believe), but were connected, and that connection included the sexual. Yeah. Brothers, but more than that. I realize that for many, the idea was/is squick-tastic, but there was something about the perfect equality of the two, about the balance they created, that worked. If it was done right, I could read other Weasleycest (as long as Ginny wasn't involved), and things were good. Phelpscest was there and it was good, but there was so little of it around that the line between fictional character incest and RPS incest really wasn't an issue for me.

Then why_me_why_not, anasuede, and notthequiettype's interest got me into SPN, and the occasional non-twincest incest-reading became all Wincest.

Yes, Hot Brothers FTW.

I admit, I'm all about the shiny: the chemistry between Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki totally sent me down that road. And they're hot, so imagining the adult-rated part of the pairing isn't hard on the brain. But their isolation from others, both as kids and in the present, really pushes what I see as their connection to each other. Who else do they have, really?

So, hot factor, emotional connection. Is that all that I need to make the 'cest pairing appeal? You'd think so, right?

But no. Because then I found bandslash (or bandom - the argument over terminology escapes me; shouldn't all bands be included in "bandom"?) , where once again there are hot brothers in the form of Gerard and Mikey Way (among others; *looks at Good Charlotte and The National*). But Waycest just doesn't work for me at all. Which, you know, isn't because I don't like to see either or both of them slashed with various members of their own band or other ones. Just, you know, not together. Unless Frank Iero is involved.

OK, I'll back up, because I think this might be an important contributor.

For me, the folks in RPF aren't "real" any more than other fanfic characters. They're based on real people rather than fictional ones, in that they look alike and share the same name and some characteristics. But they are a construct based on the public persona of said real person, combined with canon/fanon details, mixed and mashed into something entirely new. So for me, RPS'ed Mikey Way is no less fictional than George Weasley. I can slash him without it interfering with my honest wish that he and his wife and his band live happily ever after. Ditto for the Phelps boys.

Compartmentalize much?

Why yes, yes I do.

But I'm wondering now if maybe the compartmentalization isn't as powerful for a media figure that I see in new and different situations on a regular basis (read: new interviews, new videos, concerts, games, etc.) in comparison to one that I see only rarely and whom I'm likely never to see in real life (like James and Oliver Phelps).

Is the breakdown of compartmentalization what makes me think, "Oh, no, back button on that"?

Or does it come back to reading for pairings in fandom, as opposed to reading for general content or plot?



Thoughts?